Parenting Tips
10 Alternative Ways to Discipline
The following are alternative ways to discipline your children, taken from
I Am A Parenting Arizona® Parent, a booklet given to parents when attending
their initial Parenting Arizona® group meeting:
- Ignore behavior when possible. Ignore behavior that will not harm your
child - bad habits, whining, bad language, tantrums. It's hard to do nothing,
however, this lack of attention takes away the very audience your child is seeking.
- Take away privileges. Match the removal of the privilege to the action
taken as closely as possible, i.e. fighting over TV results in loss of TV time.
Take away the privilege for a short period. If it lasts too long, resentment builds,
the child forgets the infraction and the lesson is lost.
- Logical consequences. Let the consequence make the point, e.g. misuse
a toy, lose use of the toy for a period of time; write on the wall with crayons,
wash it off; miss a curfew, lose same amount of time from the next outing.
- Rearrange space. Try creative solutions. If clothes and toys are left
lying about, have baskets and lower hooks for easier cleanup; if school notes
and homework are misplaced, assign a special table or counter for materials; if
chores are forgotten, post a chart with who does what when.
- Redirect behavior. Substitute a positive behavior for one that's a
problem, e.g. drawing on walls, have paper available; throwing sand, use a ball
for throwing; trouble taking turns, add another toy or have them help an adult
(to satisfy this need for power).
- Grandma's rule: When/Then. Tie what you want to what they need, e.g.
when you pick up your toys, then you can watch TV; when you come home from school
on time, then you can have a friend over.
- Work Detail. Post a list of jobs that need to be done, such as washing
the car, weeding the garden, etc. Let the child choose a "work detail"
as a way to "make up" for rule violations. This is especially effective
for children 8 years and older.
- "Hiring" a substitute. A child may choose to "hire"
someone to do his/her chore, e.g. by paying a wage of 25 cents, or mutually agree
to trade chores.
- Model correct behavior. Patiently show the child the "right way"
to behave or do a chore.
- Time out. Use "time out" to respond to dangerous and harmful
behaviors such as biting, hitting and purposeful destruction. Have the child sit
in a boring place. Explain what he/she did wrong and what the proper behavior
is. Keep time out to one minute for every year of age (use a timer). After time
out, acknowledge correct behavior as soon as it is displayed.
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