Parenting Tips
Do Your Children Cry When They Don't Get Their Way?
From The Parents Guide: Solutions to Today's Most Common Behavior Problems
in the Home by Stephen B. McCarney, Ed.D and Angela M. Bauer, M.Ed
comes these tips on helping a child who cries when he/she does not get his/her
way:
- Model for your child acceptable ways of behaving when he/she does not get
his/her way. Your child will learn how to behave from watching you.
- Ignore your child's crying when the child is crying because he/she did not
get his/her way. Do not let the child have his/her way when he/she cries.
- Be consistent. Try to deal with your child and the behavior in a manner that
is as fair as possible.
- When your child starts to cry, explain exactly what he/she is doing wrong,
what should be done, and why. For example: It is 8:25pm. You tell your child that
bedtime is in five minutes and your child begins to cry. Go to your child and
say "William, you are crying because you do not want to go to bed. You need
to stop crying and go to bed because your bedtime is at 8:30."
- Carefully consider your child's age before expecting him/her not to cry.
- Walk away from your child when the crying begins because he/she did not get
his/her way.
- Tape record your child crying because he/she did not get his/her way. Let
the child listen to the tape, and then discuss the tape.
- Before going into a grocery store, shopping mall, friend's house, etc, remind
your child of the consequences of crying when not getting his/her way.
- Immediately remove your child from the attention of others when he/she begins
to cry when he/she does not get his/her way.
- Make certain that your child does not go to another adult after you have said
"no". (See "Playing One Adult Against the Other")
- After telling your child that he/she cannot have or do something, explain
the reason.
- Make certain baby sitters, grandparents, teachers, etc. understand the importance
of maintaining consistancy in discipline with your child.
- Remain calm when your child starts crying. By getting upset, you may lose
control of the situation.
- Provide your child with alternative activities, games, etc, in which to engage
in case some activities prove upsetting.
A Reminder: Your child will stop crying to get his/her own way if you
do not give in to the crying.
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