Parenting Tips
Is Your Child Impatient?
From The Parents Guide: Solutions to Today's Most Common Behavior Problems
in the Home by Stephen B. McCarney, Ed.D and Angela M. Bauer, M.Ed comes these
tips on helping your child with being impatient:
- Establish a rule (e.g., be patient with others). This rule should be consistant
and followed by everyone in the home. Talk about the rule often and reward your
child for following the rule.
- Show your child how to be patient by being patient yourself.
- Give your child suggestions of things to do (e.g., counting to 10, saying
the alphabet, walking away from the situation and then returning, etc.) in order
to help teach more patience.
- When your child is impatient, explain exactly what he/she is doing wrong,
what he/she shoud be doing and why. For example, you overhear your child yelling
at a friend to hurry. Go to your child and say "William, you are yelling
at Matt. You need to wait patiently until he is ready to play, or he may not want
to play with you."
- Immediately remove your child from interacting with others when he/she begins
to be impatient.
- Carefully consider your child's age and experience before expecting him/her
to always be patient.
- Encourage your child to ask for help when necessary.
- Do not make your child wait for long periods of time to get your attention.
- Make sure there is something to do if your child has to wait on others (e.g.,
reading, playing a game, listening to music, etc.).
- Talk to your child in the manner in which you want him/her to talk to you.
Treat them with respect and do not "talk down" to them.
- Provide your child with a place to go when he/she becomes impatient (e.g.,
a quiet corner, a room, etc.).
- When your child begins to get impatient, provide reminders for self-control
by saying "You need to count to 10." "Calm down, your becoming
impatient.", etc.).
- Teach your child alternative ways to communicate unhappiness (e.g., talking
about a problem, asking for help, etc.).
- Do not place emphasis on perfection. If your child feels he/she must meet
up to your expactations and cannot, it may cause your child to become impatient
with himself/herself.
- Teach your child to verbalize feelings before losing control (e.g. "I'm
getting tired of doing this." "I'm getting bored standing here,"
etc.).
- Look for the warning signs (e.g. arguing, loud voices, etc.) that your child
is getting upset or angry and intervene to change the activity.
- Help your child perform those activities (e.g. putting a model together, making
a bed, etc.) which cause him/her to be impatient. Provide less assistance as your
child experiences success.
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